I ended up having psychiatric help for problems around my miscarriage. I was not coping well and I was given a diagnosis of a mood related disorder. The crisis intervention team suggested I should have some support, they gave me a leaflet for Just B. Just B did listen to me and passed me onto Reflect. After the first month, following my diagnosis, I really felt supported enough to start the process of letting go of what was not serving me well. Reflect has helped me through a very sad, trying and difficult period. The way the structured programme ran has been particularly helpful as I have been able to see and reflect back on progress made, big and small. The overall Journey period with reflect has meant that in my mind I am more at peace than I was before, I no longer have intrusive and upsetting thoughts and feelings around it like I was. I was given ample space and time to look at my grief and am happier to move on it from now on. I am very happy with the service I have received thank you.
Oh my goodness Reflect has saved me - that may sound dramatic but I am so, so grateful for every single session, minute and hour that my advisor has given me.
When I contacted Reflect I literally felt like I couldn’t go on I had been through so much over so many years but had never allowed myself the time or place to open up or talk to even my closest people. I thought I had to be strong and ‘get on’ and not show my vulnerable side, even to my husband and best friend. All of this got too much and I needed a release and some help to deal with it all. Reflect provided that and more, I knew they would help me being specialists in what they did but I never expected such warmth, love support and gentle encouragement advice and outlets to help me get there. The journey was hard, each week I went thinking I was feeling ok but then as soon as I started speaking I would break down, I had never really opened up like this before but I felt so supported that it actually came naturally thanks to my advisor’s incredible style and warm nature.
When I experienced another pregnancy and loss part way through the journey they were so supportive and we gently went over sessions and emotions we had done before but new to the recent loss. Without Reflect I hate to think where I would be now. The pain and heartbreak hasn’t gone away, but Reflect has helped me to see the sunshine through the clouds and helped me in ways I never thought were possible.
The journey material has literally been lifesaving. Breaking down the grieving process into topics to gently delve into, discuss and open up about has helped me in so, so many ways. It has touched upon feelings and emotions that were just far too hard to think or go there myself and without addressing these I honestly know I wouldn’t be able to think feel or remember my losses in the way I can today.
The gentle supportive way we broached these delicate and personal subjects has allowed me to verbalise and address so many areas that I hadn’t and couldn’t allow myself to think or feel. I had brushed over all of my losses thinking that I had to be super woman and battle on but the journey has allowed me to stop reflect and grieve properly. To physically see the map of the journey and the downward/upward diagram really helped me to visualise how far I had come or sometimes slipped back, which really helped along the way.
My husband, friends and family and I are forever grateful to my advisor and Reflect for the time, love support and guidance at such a difficult time.
I am forever and eternally thankful.
We suffered the heartbreak of a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I kept the feeling of emptiness to myself, not willing to deal with what was an enormous personal loss to both myself and my partner which put a tremendous strain on our relationship.
We first met Kate at Reflect 6 months after our loss and she encouraged us to talk about what we were feeling and how it has been affecting us. It was the first time we understood feelings that we had been keeping in, not even sharing with each other. The feeling of relief and comfort was almost immediate and over the 5 months that Kate helped us, the clouds of despair slowly lifted.
Three years later, we have a beautiful 1 year old daughter and thanks to Kate we have learnt to cope and talk openly to each other.
I found it very helpful to have a safe space to talk... [Reflect] has really helped me through the most difficult period of my life in a way that has made me stronger and happier than before.
I can’t put into words just how valuable the support has been for me. I feel like me again.
If you are struggling after pregnancy and baby loss please do seek support - talk to someone and know that it’s ok to seek professional support from someone, like Reflect, trained in bereavement support.
[Reflections] has helped me to focus on a more positive outlook. It also helped me to understand the process of moving on, accepting emotional responses are normal. Reflect has helped me to re-focus. Accept that I can't change the past or what happened to me. I feel better equipped to manage my emotions.
Sophie bravely shares in depth her story of recent loss. From going to her routine dating scan to be told by the sonographer ‘well you have a living baby, but it really is quite abnormal’. To being presented with a range of options when no one was telling her whether her baby was going to be ok, or not, but only that her baby had a high chance of miscarriage. To finding out a couple of days later that her baby’s heart had stopped, and how she wailed and reacted to this devastating news.
She shares her in detail about her experience of medically managed miscarriage and how traumatic this was- physically, emotionally and mentally.
Her story is written less than 4 weeks from the scan and 3 weeks from the managed miscarriage. She wrote this partly for herself, and also for another mother who is wondering what all this means and what will happen if they have to face it?
“I suppose what I want to say is, it’s OK to feel all these things, it’s ok to be angry, scared, to talk about it and to not talk about it. It’s natural that you will have a strange relationship with your body and your partner and your friends after this. It’s a natural thing because you’ve experienced something that makes all those things a little different. There is new ground to navigate emotionally and physically. And that’s just without all the hormones too. So please, don’t feel you need to be or do anything. You are brilliant just as you are. You have found strength in yourself you didn’t know you had, and you are worthy of love. You’ll always be a mum. Time, time is what we all need and a promise that you are never alone in this.”
“The truth is, this is only my story, but stories help us make sense of the world and so if mine can do any good, then so be it.”
Click here to read Sophie's story in full
Names and photos changed to protect anonymity.